I'm bi and have a boyfriend who I have remained loyal to.
I've only just started talking to this sweet bi gothic girl who used to go to my school yestrday, and I could see myself happy with her.
I can't break his heart though. I love him so much.
I just don't know if it should be a friendship or not.
I shouldn't break up with someone I love to go out with a potential love, right?
Then how come everything in me is telling me to keep talking to her.

... I'm fasting tomorrow.

It's nice to be getting back to my old ways. :]

We haven't talked in months but every so often I google his name just to make sure his obituary doesn't pop up.

I hear that I'm stupid on a daily basis from my father.
I don't need to hear it when I'm hanging out with my friends too.

1. Think Lady Gaga kinda resembles Chris Crocker in some scene's in the music video "bad romance."

2. Can only pierce ears & such when I'm high, because when sober I'm terrified of needles.

3. If someone chews very loudly, I will gladly walk into the next room in annoys me so much.

4. Still look at my boyfriends ex's myspace 2 years later. Only because I find her interesting, and if she wasn't his ex we would probably be good friends.

5. Sit criss cross almost anywhere, car, restaurant, and even at school. It's a bad habit but I find it ridiculously comfortable sometimes.

The other night my boyfriend jokingly said he would marry me. IF he believed in marriage.

That last bit hurt my feelings so much I was sad the rest of the evening and well into the nest morning. I just couldn't tell him why because it was silly, and he felt bad because he knew I was upset over him.

How can I say it hurt me that he doesn't believe in marriage without freaking him out or being weird?! We haven't been together that long so it feels stupid to be acting like this.

Everytime I have new an interest, I must find porn relating to it.

my stomach looks flatter but to be honest what I really want is thinner limbs and my arms and legs look about the same to me.

also I made a discovery. Spaghetti squash is only about 50 calories per cup. It's a bit bland on it's own but it's really good with parsley and lemon juice. I have a lot left so I am going to eat some with tomato sauce and pretend it's real spaghetti.
yum!

i_hope_that
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i'm proud of you, sister. you know exactly who you are. you carry yourself well. i love you.

i wish i could get on Facebook from my work computer.






also, i love when you say i'm yours when we have sex.

If someone asked, I couldn't tell them if I'm crying because I'm upset or because you won't pick up the phone.
I need to see you.

I love my boyfirend in a friendship was but i cant tell him. he said he'd kill himself if i only wanted to be just friends and i dont want to hurt him but i love someone else. ive been making out with him and it feels so much more natural and better. i wish my boyfriend would hate me.
i feel like a whore because im secretly with who makes me happy. am i?

1. My moms being kind of bitch and unfair. And I feel like im being selfish and angry because I'm not getting my way, but it's not a huge deal and she's being a bitch! I have the right to be upset.

2. I wish i was thinner thinner thinner!!!!

3. the past few days, every time we see each other, I have the strangest impulse to want to kiss you, and then I kind of freak out a little...because I don't want to feel that way...I don't want to ruin anything we have, and I feel like when be both mature a little...then it has the potential to work out, not now.

Brittany Murphy died and Im actually about to cry...I didn't about any other celebrities this year, but she's different. She kept out of the media mostly and seemed like a genually good person.

Plus, my boyfriends nickname for me is 'ramen girl' because of her movie...and that hits close to home even more.

I really liked Brittany Murphy. :/ Sad night.

over the past two weeks, i've begun to lose trust in him... this really hurts...
i just want him to prove me wrong...